Another honest assessment by John Newton.
“Dear friend,
Wickedness prevails and increases in our city to a dreadful degree! Our streets are filled with the sons of Belial, who neither fear God, nor regard man. I wish my heart was more affected with what my eyes see and my ears hear every day! I am often ready to fear lest the Lord should show His displeasure in some dreadful way!
And surely, if He were strict to mark all that is amiss—I myself would tremble! Oh, were He to plead against me—I could not answer Him one word! Alas! my dear friend, you know not what a poor, unprofitable, unfaithful creature I am! If you knew the evils which I feel within, and the snares and difficulties which beset me from without –you would pity me indeed.
So much forgiven—yet so little love to Jesus.
So many mercies—yet so few returns.
Such great privileges—yet a life so sadly below them.
Indwelling sin presses me downwards; when I would do good, evil is present with me! I can attempt nothing—but it is debased, polluted and spoiled by my depraved nature! My sins of omission are innumerable. In a word, there is . . .
much darkness in my understanding,
much perverseness in my will,
much disorder in my affections,
much folly and madness in my imagination!
In short, I am a riddle to myself—a heap of inconsistency!
Alas! when shall it be otherwise? I have a desire of walking with God—but I cannot attain unto it. Surely it is far better to depart, and to be with Jesus Christ—than to live here up to the ears in sin and temptation!
But, “We have an Advocate with the Father.” Here my hope revives! Though wretched in myself—I am complete in Him!He is my wisdom, righteousness, sanctification and redemption. On this “Rock” I build—for time and eternity!”
HT: Grace Gems
It seems he poured out my heart along with his!!! All those words ring so shamefully true, and yet we share the same hope, the same Advocate, the Very same “Rock” and promise! Beautiful!
Thank you, Christina!
In short, I am a riddle to myself—a heap of inconsistency!
Praise God that one of the marks of grace is our conviction of sin. If He should count iniquities who would stand?
Wonderful grace of Jesus, greater than all my sin!
Blessings dear sister!
Thank you both my dear sisters for your comments!
Thanking God, with you, for our Savior who revives our hope!